


The End Justifies the Means - Or So They Say

by DixieDale



Category: Garrison's Gorillas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 04:50:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DixieDale/pseuds/DixieDale
Summary: Just what had taken place, what had Garrison managed to do to get such an angrily impassioned reaction from the usually cheerful Goniff?  Garrison needs to figure it out pretty fast, before it tears the team apart.Early days.





	The End Justifies the Means - Or So They Say

**Author's Note:**

> A friend emailed me a picture of the five guys. Their body language, the expressions on their faces (as described below) just called for a story.

They stood there, the five of them, Garrison battered and bruised, looking like he'd gone through hell but still pleased with himself, Casino rough and tumble, Chief on the alert. Actor was seeming to chide Goniff in a low voice, while Goniff was looking at Garrison like he was totally fed-up.

Ignoring the tall Italian conman who was trying to, if not pacify him, at least calm him somewhat, their pickpocket snarled at Garrison. "Just 'ad to try for it, didn't you!! Not a ruddy chance in 'ell of pulling it off, but you just 'AD to try! No matter w'at the ruddy 'ell it took, no matter who got 'urt!"

"Well, I DID pull it off, didn't I? Or rather, WE pulled it off. And we're all still standing. Good job, men," Garrison said with a satisfied, if more than a little weary note in his voice. Frankly, he wanted to crawl into a bunk for a week and not deal with anything or anyone.

He frowned, puzzled, as the slender Englishman sputtered incoherently, threw up his hands, pushed Actor aside, turned and stomped back into the barn where they'd taken shelter earlier, talking to himself in an even more incomprehensible Cockney cant than usual. Somehow, Garrison figured he was better off not knowing what any of that meant; it didn't sound very complimentary.

"What's with him?" Garrison asked, watching that rare display of temper from their pickpocket. Casino was the only one staring after Goniff with that same air of confusion on his face; well, Casino had been working another part of the job, hadn't been close in, not like the others. Chief and Actor glanced at each other, then back toward Garrison.

"You really don't know, Craig? Amazing, while you are an extremely intelligent man in some regards, there are times when you . . ." Actor's voice had a goodly amount of mild frustration in it.

"Well, whatever is eating him, or you either, this isn't the time for it! We have to make that pickup!" Garrison growled, not needing any more complications; the past few days had presented more than enough.

Actor just shook his head. "With that I DO agree; there's no time to discuss it now; I had better . . ." turning to go fetch their pickpocket so they could start their exit.

"No, better let me," Chief spoke up, to everyone's surprise. "He's not gonna be real friendly for awhile." And he wasn't; when the two men came out a few minutes later, there didn't seem to be any animosity between them, but they were both abnormally quiet, Chief being watchful for any new explosions, Goniff withdrawn and obviously still angry, so very angry.

Garrison opened his mouth to say something, maybe ask something, but a good look at that sullen face, at the open warning on Actor's face, a matching one on Chief's, he decided against it. Casino? He was just confused as hell but figured he might be better off keeping his mouth shut for now. And when Chief filled him in later, he had to admit he wasn't all that happy either.

  
It had been over two weeks now. They'd been out on one other mission, and things had gone well, but Goniff had been quiet, not saying anything that wasn't needful. Now, back again, the others had relaxed some of that odd tension, shifted back to more what passed for normal at the Mansion. Everyone except Goniff.

For someone who chattered incessently, Goniff had remained stubbornly, bitterly silent, though doing what he was told, whether it be shooting at the firing range with his usual lack of accuracy, running the track, dead last as always, or making his determined way around the obstacle course, creating his usual mayhem along the way. But gone was the banter, the sudden outbreak of conversation or anything like his usual interaction. He ate his meals in silence, bandaged that slice in Garrison's hand in silence, dealt out his card games in silence, drank his pint down at The Doves in silence, curled himself into his blankets on his cot in silence. Gone was the complaining, the teasing, the poking at Actor or Casino. Gone were the practical jokes, the silly games. Also gone were those smiles, quick glances, ranging from comforting to cheery to mischievous to sympathetic and reassuring, smiles and glances that Garrison was starting to somehow depend on to lighten his own dark moods when nothing else seemed to do the trick. When had he become so dependent on those smiles? He didn't know, only realized, now that they weren't there anymore, that he had.

Finally, after unsuccessfully prodding and questioning and, in general, putting up with a monosyllabic team member, he pushed perhaps too far, perhaps just far enough in that stern confrontation in his office. If he'd wanted some answers, well, he sure as hell was getting them now, in the resultant explosion.

"You said it wouldn't 'appen again! After that officer's boy, you promised we'd steer clear of using kids to get the job done! W'at the 'ell, Warden, you thought we wouldn't notice??! Thought maybe we'd just forget??! Thought cause we're cons, we'd be okay with that, just go along??! Didn't seem like you even LOOKED for another way, just grabbed them by the scruff of the neck and 'auled them into that building! Just cause they were there, convenient-like, just cause you were bigger than them and COULD!"

Goniff was livid, the anger mixed with an odd sort of intense hurt that Garrison didn't understand. Well, it wasn't as if that had been the plan, getting the two kids involved, but when the first plan went up in smoke, literally, that seemed their best bet to get the job done. Garrison didn't like the idea any better than the others, certainly, usually tried not to get Innocents involved, but their job was to get the thing done, whatever it took. No, he hadn't wasted time thinking about alternatives. Just, when he'd seen them coming out of the place, knowing they had to have seen something, he'd taken the unexpected opportunity that had been presented to him. And he'd been careful; they hadn't been hurt, probably didn't even know what was going on, just some stranger pulling them into an empty room, asking a lot of questions. Yeah, they'd been scared, probably, but he hadn't hurt them. He'd let them go once he had the answers he needed, well, as soon as it was safe for him to, anyway. Just what the hell had Goniff in such a twist??!

He reached out to put a calming hand on the smaller man's shoulder, and was stunned to see that slight touch set off a blind fury in those blue eyes, enough so he just barely blocked the wild swing coming towards his jaw. Goniff wasn't the greatest at hand-to-hand, didn't pack nearly the punch as Casino or the other two on the team, and as angry as he was, his technique was even more ineffective than usual, but it still would have done some damage, if Garrison hadn't been able to block it. Somehow, though, Garrison would have preferred to have taken that punch; somehow he thought it would have been a lot less painful than facing those angry blue eyes, hearing that damning snarled tirade of accusations coming from his resident pickpocket. Hearing the bone-deep hurt in that raspy voice.

"Damn it, Warden! Thought we could trust you! Thought you were better than those bastards up at HQ, thinking the mission's the only thing that really matters! Grabbing kids is okay? That officer's boy, yeah, we didn't 'urt 'im? You really believe that??! You think 'e wasn't scared, being taken off like that, with just strangers around? That soldier, the one looking after 'im, the one we killed. That was someone 'is father trusted with 'im; could be that was someone the boy cared about. Well, 'e wasn't there anymore, was 'e? Got that man and 'is wife killed pulling that off, didn't we! No, never 'eard for sure, that's true enough, but you really think that boy's father would 'ave let them live, after them being part of that? Would YOU 'ave??? The kid's gotta live with that, 'is father being gone and everything else. Ruddy 'ell, we don't even know if 'E made it out alive, now do we??!"

His chest heaved with trying to draw enough air into lungs that felt cramped and tight. "This time, maybe no one got killed, MAYBE!, but them kids were SCARED, Warden, 'AD to be, with all that questioning you gave them to get the answers you wanted! And anyone guesses, figures out that's where we got the info, decides to make them pay?? You okay with that??! W'at's next - maybe you start 'urting them a little, if they decide they don't want to answer? Maybe, one gets sliced up some, maybe gets 'is throat slit, just to make the other talk??! Tell me, just w'at IS off-limits for you, ei??! Give us a 'eads-up, just so we'll know when you're likely gonna pull something low and dirty like that! We may be cons, right enough, but we got a notion 'ow things are supposed to be, w'at things you don't do, cons or not. So, you just tell me, Lieutenant Craig Garrison, Mr. 'igh and Mighty Officer, w'at's YOUR notion of w'at things you just don't do???! Or is there anything that comes under that 'eading, when it's the almighty MISSION that's involved???!"

Garrison stood, shocked into immobility, watching the smaller man, furious tears filling his hazy blue eyes, suddenly gasp for air, gag, whirl and leave the room in a mad dash. No, he hadn't imagined the abject hurt in that voice, the overwhelming pain in those eyes, the sense of deep personal betrayal. Yes, all in all, he'd have preferred to have just let that wild punch connect.

"Goniff, you gotta get it together, man." Chief didn't reach out to touch the man now huddled against the railing on the balcony outside the library, his desperate retching finally, maybe, at an end. He knew better. And, yes, he'd worried, right along, at what he'd seen in Goniff's eyes as his trust in Garrison grew. Well, Chief couldn't blame him for that; he knew his own eyes would have reflected that, if he'd ever let his emotions show to that extent. Still, for Chief, it had been respect and gratitude, for Goniff, it had been different, all that but more; Chief could see that. Now, the level of betrayal was tearing the smaller man apart.

He tried again, "man, ya gotta understand, he just don't get it. Ya gotta cut him some slack. It's not like he's targeting them, not like some would. He's just so damned focused on the job, the mission, that he don't get it, don't understand, not yet. Come on, man, get it together." He watched helplessly as the retching started up again, til there was more blood than anything else, til Goniff slid to the floor, no longer able to stand, lay there, shuddering. Later, silently helping Goniff back to his cot, he stood for a moment, trying to decide what to do. Hearing Actor sigh, he watched the conman turn and head down the stairs toward the office, and he knew what he HAD to do. Not that he wanted to do, but HAD to do.

Actor stepped into the darkened office. "Craig?" he asked, wondering at the stillness of the room, wondering if he'd been mistaken at Garrison being in here.

"I screwed up, didn't I, Actor? Big time." The voice was flat, defeated.

"Well, yes, on this occasion you did. I cannot deny that." His voice was sympathetic, but not with much give to it.

"Talk to me, Actor. Explain. I don't know that I've ever been this confused."

And so Actor did, laying out plainly just what Garrison had come to mean to the team, how that last mission and a sudden impulse on Garrison's part had laid harsh claws into the fragile web of trust that had been built.

"Goniff, though. Why him, in particular?"

Actor hesitated, knowing what he'd guessed, knowing deep inside what he had no hard evidence of. "I believe he sees himself in their position, Craig, who knows from what past experiences. He has let himself come to trust you, rely on you, and he is not one to trust easily, I believe, no matter how naive he lets himself appear. Now, he has to wonder if it is all a mirage; if the one he has come to trust, to believe in, is someone who will turn on any of the more vulnerable, on him, on all of us, just to suit the occasion. He calls himself a coward, but he has become someone who is now willing to die to protect you, us, those he feels worthy of that sacrifice; he had thought you much the same. And, perhaps, he fears if YOU, someone he looks up to, can cross that line without hesitation, perhaps without even considering alternatives, perhaps that line is one he himself might one day finding himself crossing. Now . . ." He paused as he realized Chief was standing inside the doorway.

"Something else you need to think on, Warden," Chief spoke, slowly, quietly. He'd hesitated before following Actor into the office, but he wasn't sure the con man would tell Garrison everything he needed to know. Hell, he wasn't sure Actor really understood, not the way HE did.

When Chief had stopped, hadn't continued, the other two men focused on him, the usual impassivity somehow making the next words hit even harder. "You don't fix this, he's gonna crack, we're gonna lose him, one way or another.

Garrison frowned, "you think he'd just take off?" Well, of all of them, other than perhaps Actor, he had the best chance. They were only a couple of hours from London, Goniff's old stomping ground. But the increasingly tight draw to Chief's mouth didn't see like an agreement, more frustration that, once again, Garrison just wasn't getting it. Garrison was sharing that frustration, knowing Chief was EXPECTING him to understand, knowing he SHOULD understand.

"He won't take off, not for good. He thinks he's got to take care of us, for as long as he can keep it together. But, Warden, you come up with a plan like that, using kids, tell us upfront in the briefing, he'll argue like hell; he can't convince you, he'll find some way not to go, maybe to stop us all from going. You spring it on us out there, well, he may go along, to protect us, just so we don't all get our heads shot off. But after? Especially if it gets one of those kids hurt or worse? When the rest of us are safe? You're gonna find him stepping in the way of a bullet or a knife, if he gets the chance. If he dont get the chance out there, if we all make it back . . ." He paused, not sure he could finish, but knowing Garrison might not make that final leap of understanding. "We make it back, we're gonna find him dangling at the end of a rope somewhere. If he was anyone else, if it was anyone but you, we'd be finding you with a bullet in your head too. But it IS you. Don't think he could hurt you, not really; you're too important to him. You WEREN'T that important to him, he wouldn't be taking this all so bad."

It was a long night, for all of them, perhaps for Lieutenant Craig Garrison the most of all. The words of explanation from Actor, from Chief wouldn't stop playing in his head, time after time. The ugly picture he'd seen reflected in those hazy blue eyes had been totally repellent, and he wanted to gag at the sight. That wasn't who he was, who he wanted to be, had been unaware he was becoming. The view of his ceiling hadn't changed from when he'd first laid himself down on the unwelcoming matttress; he knew, since he'd stared at it the whole night. But at least, now he knew what he had to come to grips with. Who he really was, what he could become, gradually, unknowingly, in the name of 'the cause'. Whoever would have thought that it would be his group of wild card cons who could teach him that the end didn't always justify the means?

It was a quiet breakfast, and at the end, only a quiet, "Goniff, what's say let's take a walk," from Garrison broke the silence. And they did, and while the others had to wonder at the length of time before the two returned, the mid-day meal being long finished and cleared away, at least there was some satisfaction that Goniff was a little more himself.

And that increased, day by day, and finally, there was the sitdown in the Common Room, where Lieutenant Craig Garrison let bare some home truths, much to the amazement of most at the table. "We can't always control what happens out there; you know that as well as I do. Sometimes there's hard decisions that have to be made. But, I promise, those decisions won't be made lightly. And they won't be made based on what's most convenient, not without thinking about the consequences to others. "

And he talked, more openly than he ever had with any of them, even Actor, talking about the values he held, what he wanted himself to be, would strive to be. "That's where I stand. And if it looks like I'm not being true to that, I want you to speak out, loud and clear. I trust you to do that. I NEED you to do that."

And if Chief worried a little at the look in Goniff's eyes, such open vulnerability, a look a man shouldn't show so easily, well, he knew how it was. Sometimes, the heart spoke louder than the head. Hell, all he had to do was to look at those dark brown eyes, that cocky, even aggressive turn of Casino's head to remind him of that. Hell, yes, he knew how it was, how it could be.


End file.
